#FabulousVeilsNovel#Book Review

“A couple of pages and I was already hooked. I had this book literally everywhere I go, I couldn’t wait to know what was gonna happen next. It literally changed how I feel about myself as a second class citizen and how sometimes our society makes you feels it’s the normal, that you never question or wonder about it. I encourage all young ladies to read it ,married, engaged, or not committed. This book is gonna be your life changing experience.”

 

That’s Why Awareness Turns Into A Curse

Is your heart aching? William Shakespeare claimed that: “Expectation is the root of all heartache”. And I wonder; had he been mistaken?

A couple of months ago I got certified as a Meta-Coach. On the same day of receiving my certificate, my mother and sisters surprised me with a cake and a beautiful bunch of flowers and celebrated my achievement.

Later on the same day my partner congratulated me verbally, warmly, and did nothing more. He didn’t arrange for me a surprise or get me a special gift on such a meaningful event for me. I remembered Gameela, one of my main characters in Fabulous Veils. How her partner failed to meet her expectations and how this was one of the main causes that bombarded their love story. Expectations from both sides.

I took a little pause to think of what I really wanted. I wished to celebrate with my husband my accomplishment. It didn’t matter for me that it would be a surprise. What mattered was that we celebrate together this milestone. I remembered John Gray’s teachings. I recalled how my partner comes from Mars and how I come from a different planet; planet Venus. I was aware that he loved me not less than my mother and sisters who all came from Venus. I remembered how he surprises me from time to time. And how his work was overwhelming him in this period. And though I was aware of what I wanted, I knew that awareness wouldn’t take me anywhere. I knew I had to communicate what I wanted. And most importantly, to communicate it in the language that my partner understands; the language of planet Mars.

Attending a Jazz concert at the Cairo Opera House was my choice for celebration. We spent a night-to-remember enjoying the melodies and each other. My heart was filled with gratitude to both my partner and Shakespeare. I refused to live my life as a victim like Gameela. I learned from her that awareness without communication is a curse that fires people’s lives and it starts by destroying them from within.

Men are motivated and empowered when they feel needed. Women are motivated and empowered when they feel cherished.” John Gray

How Good Are You in Expressing Who You Are?

Please consider becoming a professional Stylist,” my fifteen-years-old daughter insisted last year. I laughed while explaining that though I do like styling I can’t take it as a profession. “I like to affect people’s lives in profound and more meaningful ways”, I replied.

May you take me on your next shopping tour?”, “Me too, I love the way you dress!”, “Yes, I admire your style.”, three of my peers in the Meta-Coaching bootcamp I was attending in February told me. Their words reminded me with my daughter’s suggestion and I shared with them my opinion about taking it as a profession.

Did it ever happen to you that you felt like the universe is overhearing you; offering you answers to your questions or sharing with you data about a matter that you were just concerned about? This is exactly what happened later, right after my peers brought up the matter of Styling.

The Coaching Categories 

During our next session we were invited to identify which category of Coaches we want to become. Given a couple of pages to read, I skimmed them and started to study thoroughly the subtitles under ‘Personal Coaching’. ‘Image Coaching’ puzzled me. As soon as we returned to the session I had my hand up and inquired its meaning. The answer surprised me. Never I thought how coaching people in how to dress, how to style their hair, how to take care of their personal hygiene would have a profound impact on their acceptance in job interviews, their relationships and their self-confidence. How fantastic!

Personal Coaching

Personal Coaching was my choice.  It focuses on an individual’s life. The life/work balance, goals, purpose and meaning, relationships, health, career and profession, wealth, lifestyle, value clarification. However, it included many specialised areas.

Personal Coaching Areas

Using my yellow highlighter I made my choice on starting my Coaching services in specific areas:

  • Life Coaching
  • Values Coaching
  • Goal setting Coaching
  • Career Coaching
  • Learning Genius Coaching
  • Relationship Coaching
  • Parenting Coaching
  • Family Coaching
  • Teens Coaching
  • Image Coaching

An ‘Image Coach’ was among my choices. Yes, I would coach people in how to dress and how to style their hair, aiming to transform their lives and their relationships. Seeing it in this context and for such a meaningful purpose I would do what my daughter nagged for last year.

Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak.” – Rachel Zoe

A Strategy for Happiness

Women of Egypt Mag

Saturday March 18, 2017
By: Nada Rafaat

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We have no choice in the circumstances which we are born into, but our life experiences and what we make out of it depends on how we shape, steer and direct our thoughts. We often think that becoming successful and getting what we want in life requires only hard work. Of course, hard work is the key to success, however, to be able to truly shape our lives, we first have to change the way we think. Improving the quality of our lives, will require us to learn to practice gratitude.

gratitude-quotes-thankful-quotes-grateful-quotes-happiness-quotesIn a TED Talk on gratefulness, David Steindl-Rast, the Benedictine monk from upstate New York said, “it’s not happiness that makes us grateful, it’s gratefulness that makes us happy.” It is important to give ourselves a chance every once in a while, to think about what we are grateful for in life. Thinking…

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8 Simple Steps to Become a Better Communicator

One of the fundamental skills we need to develop as social creatures are our Communication Skills. Many people think that communication is about speaking, while communication is a process between two parties, hence it includes both speaking and listening. In his ‘7 habits of highly effective people’, Stephen Covey introduced the 5th habit of “Seek first to understand then to be understood.” His habit was an eye opener, explaining that in order to have better conversations and relationships, we ought to listen first, understand, then express ourselves. I offer you 8 simple steps to become better communicators:

1- Listen first without interrupting

Attending a Leadership bootcamp for Covey in Egypt, he used ‘an Indian stick’ in a demo for his 5th habit. He passed the stick to the other person and made it clear that only the person with the stick is the one allowed to speak. He gave the stick to the other person to speak first.

2- Find an alternative for interruptions

Some people tend to interrupt fearing to forget what they want to say. If you face this challenge find an alternative to remember without interrupting the other person. Taking notes might be an option in case you find difficulty to remember.

3- Explain what you understood 

When you receive the stick hold on and don’t dive into your side of the talk. Start first by repeating what you understood from the other person’s talk. This will make him/her feel heard and it will provide a chance to clarify any misunderstandings before moving to your side.

4- Speak and share your talk

How fantastic! According to Stephen Covey speaking is the 4th step in an effective communication. After making sure that you clearly understood the other person’s speech come your turn to speak. Make sure to hold the stick or the tool you will be using.

5- Check the understanding of the other person

When you’re done with your speech pass the stick to the other person and ask him/her to explain what he/she understood. Keep passing the stick till you both feel truly heard.

6- Compare the outcome of the communication process with your intention

Take few moments to reflect on what happened. Compare your aims from the conversation with the outcome. Consider the impact of this process on your relationship with the other person. How did it affect it?

7- Act based on the outcome

Decide on the actions you need to take. Will you need another ‘communication’ with the person to clarify things? Will you need to put some decisions into action? Identify the steps that need to be taken and work them out.

8- Pay attention to the unspoken 

The process of ‘Verbal communication’ is an experience between human beings. It goes beyond the spoken words. Paying attention to the person’s tone of voice, breath, posture, pauses and energy level is as important as the spoken words themselves. Make sure to seek a deep understanding of the other person’s message. Be attentive to the unspoken. Be careful, don’t make assumptions. Always ask and check your understanding.

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply,” Stephen Covey. Change your life; join the few who seeks to understand.