Glimpses from Fabulous Veils#1

I was moved by a burning desire. The desire to change. The desire to reveal. The desire to shake.

Many people wondered how I made it. How did I succeed to write for an hour on daily basis at 5:00 am in the morning, regardless of the weather and the circumstances. How did I persist and defeated all the challenged I faced until I had my novel ‘Fabulous Veils’ published?

The desires. I desired to change the rotten culture. I desired to reveal the brainwashing under the veils; the veils of religion, traditions and love. I desired to shake our misconceptions, limiting beliefs and thinking patterns.

My desire was for the families. Some people mistaken me for a feminist, while I’m not. My calling is for the community and its smallest unit; the family. ‘Fabulous Veils’ is a call for change, for actions. From all sides. A change from the men’s perspective about their wives and their roles towards their families. A change from the women’s perspective about romance, marriage, parenthood and spirituality. A change from the perspective of youth about rights, freedom, civilisation and open mindedness.

Dedicating my Mondays Arabic articles in November for the Teenagers, I decided to share some glimpses from ‘Fabulous Veils’ on weekly basis. Sharing scenes in which Teenagers were involved. Whether as a main or side character. I will not comment on the scene. Comments are open for the readers. I will just open a window to my perception.

The window this time is: 

Our children do and will do mistakes. In such cases, what difference will it make if we pause before reacting, then become proactive by dealing with the reason of the behaviour instead of the behaviour itself?

Leaving you with the Glimpse…

“Your daughter has a boyfriend ya Hanim wenty nayma ala wedanek,” Sherif had screamed back then. 

“What? What are you saying?” 

“What are you doing as a mother? You know nothing about your daughter?”

“Who said so?”

“I’m telling you. Your daughter is indecorous!”

“I can’t understand what you’re saying, stop shouting.”

“Stop shouting? Is it all that matters to you?”

“I can’t hear you. Calm down and explain.”

“Explain what? I’m telling you your daughter has a boyfriend. My mother saw her in a car with a boy last night.”

“And who said he’s a boyfriend. Maybe he’s a schoolmate.”

“Schoolmate driving a car? You want me to lose my mind?”

“Maybe it’s the brother of one of her friends.”

“And why was she riding with him in the car alone? And since when is she allowed to ride cars with her friends’ brothers? And where was the damn driver?”

Gameela started to sweat. 

“What was she doing last night in that car, with whom and where was the driver?”

Gameela remained silent, trying to put the words in an order that would put her into tolerable troubles.

 

Coaching Teenagers – Labelling

My heart is aching. Yes. It is aching. Exploring with the teenagers I coach the obstacles they face and which catch them from moving forward in life I feel devastated. Labelling. Whether it’s done by a parent, a family member, a teacher or a trainer. Labelling is one common factor behind the teens’ struggles. It starts with a label an adult uses, hoping to let the teenager perform or behave in a better way. ‘Stupid’, ‘Slow’, ‘Ugly’, ‘Fat’, ‘Impolite’ are just few examples. The teenager, trusting the adult figure, starts to believe this label and considers it as a part of his identity. With repetition, the label gets reinforced in the subconscious and the teenager starts to act accordingly.

Labelling. It breaks my heart seeing real gems struggling in life and living with poor self-confidence because of labelling.

Communicating for Healthier Relationships

To which extent do we listen while communicating with others? ‘Seek first to understand then to be understood’ is the fifth habit of highly effective people as presented in Stephen R. Covey’s best selling book. He explained how we need first to listen, to check our understanding and then explain ourselves. All for the best of the relationship. This one of the habits of the public victory. Hence, he who seeks first to understand will become a victor.

 

 

 

#FabulousVeilsNovel#Book Review

“A couple of pages and I was already hooked. I had this book literally everywhere I go, I couldn’t wait to know what was gonna happen next. It literally changed how I feel about myself as a second class citizen and how sometimes our society makes you feels it’s the normal, that you never question or wonder about it. I encourage all young ladies to read it ,married, engaged, or not committed. This book is gonna be your life changing experience.”

 

Coaching Teenagers

Many teenagers struggling at school and with formal education. Unaware of themselves, their needs, their learning styles and their meta-programs they jump to general conclusions such as “I’m lazy”, “I’m not smart”, “I’m irresponsible.”

It’s one of the very enjoyable journeys to witness how teenagers expand the way they see themselves and develop effective strategies to reach their future goals.

Coaching Teenagers

Teenagers, like adults, have problems. However, we tend to take their problems lightly. At their age their problems are serious problems. Teens are treasures waiting to be unfolded yet their problems are real obstacles on their path to excellence. As a Teens’ fan I work on unleashing teens’ potentials on a one-one level. I help them deal with their problems and put them in perspectives. They learn how to set goals and to dream big.
Teens learn how to define their own strategies and how to pave their path to happiness and success.

That’s Why Awareness Turns Into A Curse

Is your heart aching? William Shakespeare claimed that: “Expectation is the root of all heartache”. And I wonder; had he been mistaken?

A couple of months ago I got certified as a Meta-Coach. On the same day of receiving my certificate, my mother and sisters surprised me with a cake and a beautiful bunch of flowers and celebrated my achievement.

Later on the same day my partner congratulated me verbally, warmly, and did nothing more. He didn’t arrange for me a surprise or get me a special gift on such a meaningful event for me. I remembered Gameela, one of my main characters in Fabulous Veils. How her partner failed to meet her expectations and how this was one of the main causes that bombarded their love story. Expectations from both sides.

I took a little pause to think of what I really wanted. I wished to celebrate with my husband my accomplishment. It didn’t matter for me that it would be a surprise. What mattered was that we celebrate together this milestone. I remembered John Gray’s teachings. I recalled how my partner comes from Mars and how I come from a different planet; planet Venus. I was aware that he loved me not less than my mother and sisters who all came from Venus. I remembered how he surprises me from time to time. And how his work was overwhelming him in this period. And though I was aware of what I wanted, I knew that awareness wouldn’t take me anywhere. I knew I had to communicate what I wanted. And most importantly, to communicate it in the language that my partner understands; the language of planet Mars.

Attending a Jazz concert at the Cairo Opera House was my choice for celebration. We spent a night-to-remember enjoying the melodies and each other. My heart was filled with gratitude to both my partner and Shakespeare. I refused to live my life as a victim like Gameela. I learned from her that awareness without communication is a curse that fires people’s lives and it starts by destroying them from within.

Men are motivated and empowered when they feel needed. Women are motivated and empowered when they feel cherished.” John Gray