Coaching Teenagers – Labelling

My heart is aching. Yes. It is aching. Exploring with the teenagers I coach the obstacles they face and which catch them from moving forward in life I feel devastated. Labelling. Whether it’s done by a parent, a family member, a teacher or a trainer. Labelling is one common factor behind the teens’ struggles. It starts with a label an adult uses, hoping to let the teenager perform or behave in a better way. ‘Stupid’, ‘Slow’, ‘Ugly’, ‘Fat’, ‘Impolite’ are just few examples. The teenager, trusting the adult figure, starts to believe this label and considers it as a part of his identity. With repetition, the label gets reinforced in the subconscious and the teenager starts to act accordingly.

Labelling. It breaks my heart seeing real gems struggling in life and living with poor self-confidence because of labelling.

Communicating for Healthier Relationships

To which extent do we listen while communicating with others? ‘Seek first to understand then to be understood’ is the fifth habit of highly effective people as presented in Stephen R. Covey’s best selling book. He explained how we need first to listen, to check our understanding and then explain ourselves. All for the best of the relationship. This one of the habits of the public victory. Hence, he who seeks first to understand will become a victor.

 

 

 

#FabulousVeilsNovel#Book Review

“A couple of pages and I was already hooked. I had this book literally everywhere I go, I couldn’t wait to know what was gonna happen next. It literally changed how I feel about myself as a second class citizen and how sometimes our society makes you feels it’s the normal, that you never question or wonder about it. I encourage all young ladies to read it ,married, engaged, or not committed. This book is gonna be your life changing experience.”

 

Coaching Teenagers

Many teenagers struggling at school and with formal education. Unaware of themselves, their needs, their learning styles and their meta-programs they jump to general conclusions such as “I’m lazy”, “I’m not smart”, “I’m irresponsible.”

It’s one of the very enjoyable journeys to witness how teenagers expand the way they see themselves and develop effective strategies to reach their future goals.

Coaching Teenagers

Teenagers, like adults, have problems. However, we tend to take their problems lightly. At their age their problems are serious problems. Teens are treasures waiting to be unfolded yet their problems are real obstacles on their path to excellence. As a Teens’ fan I work on unleashing teens’ potentials on a one-one level. I help them deal with their problems and put them in perspectives. They learn how to set goals and to dream big.
Teens learn how to define their own strategies and how to pave their path to happiness and success.

That’s Why Awareness Turns Into A Curse

Is your heart aching? William Shakespeare claimed that: “Expectation is the root of all heartache”. And I wonder; had he been mistaken?

A couple of months ago I got certified as a Meta-Coach. On the same day of receiving my certificate, my mother and sisters surprised me with a cake and a beautiful bunch of flowers and celebrated my achievement.

Later on the same day my partner congratulated me verbally, warmly, and did nothing more. He didn’t arrange for me a surprise or get me a special gift on such a meaningful event for me. I remembered Gameela, one of my main characters in Fabulous Veils. How her partner failed to meet her expectations and how this was one of the main causes that bombarded their love story. Expectations from both sides.

I took a little pause to think of what I really wanted. I wished to celebrate with my husband my accomplishment. It didn’t matter for me that it would be a surprise. What mattered was that we celebrate together this milestone. I remembered John Gray’s teachings. I recalled how my partner comes from Mars and how I come from a different planet; planet Venus. I was aware that he loved me not less than my mother and sisters who all came from Venus. I remembered how he surprises me from time to time. And how his work was overwhelming him in this period. And though I was aware of what I wanted, I knew that awareness wouldn’t take me anywhere. I knew I had to communicate what I wanted. And most importantly, to communicate it in the language that my partner understands; the language of planet Mars.

Attending a Jazz concert at the Cairo Opera House was my choice for celebration. We spent a night-to-remember enjoying the melodies and each other. My heart was filled with gratitude to both my partner and Shakespeare. I refused to live my life as a victim like Gameela. I learned from her that awareness without communication is a curse that fires people’s lives and it starts by destroying them from within.

Men are motivated and empowered when they feel needed. Women are motivated and empowered when they feel cherished.” John Gray

How Good Are You in Expressing Who You Are?

Please consider becoming a professional Stylist,” my fifteen-years-old daughter insisted last year. I laughed while explaining that though I do like styling I can’t take it as a profession. “I like to affect people’s lives in profound and more meaningful ways”, I replied.

May you take me on your next shopping tour?”, “Me too, I love the way you dress!”, “Yes, I admire your style.”, three of my peers in the Meta-Coaching bootcamp I was attending in February told me. Their words reminded me with my daughter’s suggestion and I shared with them my opinion about taking it as a profession.

Did it ever happen to you that you felt like the universe is overhearing you; offering you answers to your questions or sharing with you data about a matter that you were just concerned about? This is exactly what happened later, right after my peers brought up the matter of Styling.

The Coaching Categories 

During our next session we were invited to identify which category of Coaches we want to become. Given a couple of pages to read, I skimmed them and started to study thoroughly the subtitles under ‘Personal Coaching’. ‘Image Coaching’ puzzled me. As soon as we returned to the session I had my hand up and inquired its meaning. The answer surprised me. Never I thought how coaching people in how to dress, how to style their hair, how to take care of their personal hygiene would have a profound impact on their acceptance in job interviews, their relationships and their self-confidence. How fantastic!

Personal Coaching

Personal Coaching was my choice.  It focuses on an individual’s life. The life/work balance, goals, purpose and meaning, relationships, health, career and profession, wealth, lifestyle, value clarification. However, it included many specialised areas.

Personal Coaching Areas

Using my yellow highlighter I made my choice on starting my Coaching services in specific areas:

  • Life Coaching
  • Values Coaching
  • Goal setting Coaching
  • Career Coaching
  • Learning Genius Coaching
  • Relationship Coaching
  • Parenting Coaching
  • Family Coaching
  • Teens Coaching
  • Image Coaching

An ‘Image Coach’ was among my choices. Yes, I would coach people in how to dress and how to style their hair, aiming to transform their lives and their relationships. Seeing it in this context and for such a meaningful purpose I would do what my daughter nagged for last year.

Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak.” – Rachel Zoe