Coaching Conversations

Coaching is a conversation between two parties the client and the coach for a desired outcome. The conversation isn’t limited to one type, there are several types of conversations based on the client’s situation and his desired outcome.

Types of Coaching Conversations:
1- Clarity
2- Decision
3- Change
4-Planning
5- Resources
6- Confrontation

Why living unhappy or dissatisfied? Consider trying a fierce conversation with a life coach to create the life of your dreams.

Coaching For Value

Change is one of the universal laws of life. Everything around us changes. Starting from the weather, the seasons to the leaps in technology. It’s true that some people resist change and that they ought to work on themselves and their mindsets to avoid being left behind. However, what concerns me the most is the people who embrace change. Are they clear about the results they wish for? Is the value they get from change relevant to the time, money and effort they invest?

In order to live happier, become more satisfied and upgrade our lives, we need to be crystal clear about the following:

  • What do we want to change.
  • Why do we want to change it.
  • What value will we get from this change.
  • What’s the impact of this change on others.

 

Days are slow and years are fast, enough wasting time without having a clear end in mind. If you’re not sure about your end in mind, hire a coach to help you.

 

Watch Out Your Generalisation!

Our minds are playing tricks all the time, however most of us are unaware. “The problem isn’t the problem, the problem is in the perception,” is one of the powerful quotes that can alter people’s lives. We all have problems and our perceptions of these problems affect our lives and shape our future.
One of the very common cognitive distortions that filter people’s perceptions is called ‘Generalisation’, which leads people to mistakenly think that “All people are…., all men are….., all women are…, all….are.”
With the help of a Coach people learn how to pay attention to their cognitive distortions, how to explore their impact and how to test their frames of reference. The Coach, equipped with tools and techniques, empower the clients to put the problems into perspectives and to look at the problems from different angles, creating a lasting change for a better quality of life.

Coaching Teenagers

Teenagers, like adults, have problems. However, we tend to take their problems lightly. At their age their problems are serious problems. Teens are treasures waiting to be unfolded yet their problems are real obstacles on their path to excellence. As a Teens’ fan I work on unleashing teens’ potentials on a one-one level. I help them deal with their problems and put them in perspectives. They learn how to set goals and to dream big.
Teens learn how to define their own strategies and how to pave their path to happiness and success.

Coaching and Insanity

If you feel unhappy or unsatisfied with your life then it’s about time to change it. You need to start taking steps, serious steps to change it. And if you think that change is hard, you’re right. Especially if you’re considering a deep change and one that would last. Albert Einstein explained that: “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” He promoted for change. Why spending your life struggling while you can enjoy the journey of change with a Personal Coach who would unleash your potentials and help you change what you can no longer accept nor tolerate?

https://paradigmshiftegypt.com/coaching-and-insanity/

 

 

The Myth of “I Can’t”

Just two characters differentiate between ‘Can’ and ‘Can’t’, however, their impact is unbelievable.

Six years ago ‘We Can’ was the mantra I used with my students to motivate them to do their best in a Community and Service project I was leading and in which they were serving a group of Visually Impaired children. The two words worked like magic and not only my pupils reached their goals, they exceeded them. My main victory as a leader was embedding in my students a belief in their abilities and especially in such a young age; the teenage. What I failed to noticed back them was the many ‘I can’t’ I was repeating to myself and which formed a lens through which I saw myself.

Along my journey to become a Coach I learned how people grow up with limiting beliefs and how these beliefs affect them and control their lives. I discovered that ‘I can’t’ was a limiting belief. Reflecting on my life I noticed how I used to tell myself that I can’t write a novel, which I was capable of doing. And how I used to tell myself I can’t ride a motorcycle which I’m doing.

The Awareness

Analysing what happened in both situations I noticed how awareness was the beginning of change. With the novel I became aware that if I die without trying to write a novel I would feel regretful on my deathbed. I became aware that I have a desired outcome and that it’s very important for me to try to pursue it to avoid the pain of regret.

With the motorcycle the situation was different. I became aware of my fear. I was scared to ride a motorcycle. And I framed myself from my childhood that I possessed very poor coordination between my mind and my body. This was another limiting belief. I resisted for months to give it a try while my partner was very excited about me sharing with him this new hobby. I became aware of his wish and how important it was for him and I became motivated to change my mind frame for our relationship.

The Confrontation

My second observation was that admitting how I felt enabled me to turn the ‘I Can’t’ into ‘I Can’. I no longer denied my feelings and thoughts. I confronted them and shared them with the ones I trusted. I talked about them out loud and explored them and their references.

The Assistance 

My next step was asking for help. To write my novel I subscribed in Writing classes and asked for the support of numerous people every time I faced a challenge. Yet with the motorcycle it was different. I enrolled in a course and learned how to ride. However, I had fears. I was scared. These negative feelings were a gift as they alarmed me that there was something in my subconscious that I had to deal with. I expressed my fears to my partner and we developed a strategy to deal with my negative feelings. Unconsciously he coached me and enabled me to develop trust and confidence in my physical abilities and gradually my fear evaporated.

How many ‘I Can’t’ have you been telling yourself? And what were their impact on your self-confidence and your relationships? Give yourself permission to erase only two characters from this limiting belief and experience your life from a total new dimension.

If you still believe that you can’t, you can always ask for help!

“Thank you for giving me the chance to do something others my age don’t do. Thank you for teaching me that I’m not alone in this world. Thank you for showing me that a simple action can make a huge difference. Thank you for making me look at people differently and for appreciating the simple actions of others. Thank you for trusting my capabilities and for making me believe that I can actually change the world.” Hoda Labib, my student, 2013.

To Which Extent Do Your Thinking Equations Limit You?

“If…then” is a mindset that dominates many people’s lives. “If I disagree with my friends then I will lose them. If I negotiate my salary then my boss will think I’m materialistic and impolite. If I quit my job for a career shift then I will be considered a traitor to my organisation.” These are just three examples for several mindsets that were operating my mind and hence running and ruining my life. They reminded me with one of the equations we learned in Algebra; having the value of X and some givings at the beginning enabled us to predict the exact value of Y. All people would get the same answer despite their differences and individualities.

I love Algebra. Mathematics is my favourite discipline and Algebra is my favourable branch. However, life isn’t a Mathematical course. It includes limitless variables that we should guarantee nothing. “If… then” is one of the mindsets we ought to be attentive to and cautious to its effects.

“If I hadn’t studied literature then I can’t write a novel.” This was one of the thinking patterns I updated during the past year. I turned it into: “If I hadn’t studied literature then I need to learn and develop certain skills to write a novel.” I allowed myself to give it a try and the results were fantastic. Changing my thinking equation enabled me to write my first novel which became a bestseller at Virgin mega stores. It enabled me to make my career shift from Education to Coaching and Training. It allowed me to experience my life from a meta-level; a level beyond. Whenever I catch myself struggling I start analysing my mindset, evaluating and correcting it in order to live my life up to my highest dreams.

Changing my mindset allowed me to adopt a new life style, to unleash new potentials and mostly to become happier and more confident. One of my updated equations became: ’If I hadn’t studied…. then I need to learn and develop certain skills.’

Are you living up to your highest best? If not, is it your mindset what’s limiting you? Why wasting your time and settling for an average life? Help yourself or seek help. Just refuse to live and die without leaving a legacy that would prove that you existed one day on planet earth.

Once your mindset changes, everything on the outside will change along with it.” — Steve Maraboli

Which Model of the World Are You Creating?

I must go to work even if I’m sick. I must study even if I’m extremely exhausted. I must take my kids to the training even if my friends are hanging out and I wish to join them.

I must’ is one of the statements my clients frequently use. Working on my listening skills as a Meta-Coach, I became more attentive to their ‘Meta-programs’ or easier to call it their ‘Thinking patterns’.

The Meta-programs

Meta-Programs are perceptual lenses people use to make sense of their world. In most cases these meta-programs filter people’s lives and disable them from progressing. Meta-Coaches work on raising the clients’ awareness about the way they filter their lives and facilitate for them the expansion of their meta-programs.

I must’ is only one example from 60 meta-programs we studied as coaches. I used it to clarify our distorted way to see the world and lead our lives. When asked about the reference of ‘I must’, the clients, in most cases, remain clueless. Though unable to identify why they see it as a ‘must’, they find it hard to change this necessity.

Your Lenses, Your world

What kind of lenses are we wearing? And to which extent does our way of thinking filter our world? Are we perfectionists operating from an ‘either or’ meta-program (either 100% or nothing)? Are we competitive freaks who can’t stand anyone wining but ourselves and live by the rule of ‘in order to win others must lose’?

In order to experience a better life we need to change, and the first fundamental step in change is becoming aware of our lenses and selecting the ones that would lead us to the life of our dreams.

“Life is based on perception. Perception is based on opinion. Opinion is based on thought. Thought comes from the mind. Change your mind, change your life.”

If you’re a perfectionist check this book for Alice D. Domar Ph.D, it will unleash your potentials and take your life to a higher level.

https://www.amazon.com/Be-Happy-Without-Being-Perfect/dp/0307354881

 

6 Types of Conversations Can Transform Your Life

How many conversations do you engage in on the course of your day, your week, you month, your year and your life? The number is countless. Conversions affect us whether we want it or not, like it or not, aware of it or not. They do. They affect our thoughts, our perceptions, our feelings, our moods, our characters and most importantly they gradually shape our fate. The good news is, we can start engage in conversations intentionally in order to create the future we wish for and the one we never dared to dream of.

Coaching Conversations

Coaching is a conversation. A dialogue between two persons; the Coach and the client. However, it isn’t like the conversation between friends over a cup of coffee. It’s a conversation focused on a desired outcome, a change the client is aiming to realise.

Benefits of Coaching Conversations

One of the great things in a coaching conversation is the awareness it brings to the client; the ‘What’. What does he/she wants to change, not the effects, but the root causes.

I want to become more productive’ is one of the common desires of my clients. Would this be the ‘What’? Absolutely not. If we start the Coaching conversation here, the session will be superficial and change is doubted to happen. Not being productive is just an effect. During the fierce conversation we carry we start exploring and digging till we get to the heart of things. Causes might vary between lack of motivation or purpose, laziness, lack of skills, low self-confidence, limiting beliefs and the list goes on. By exploring the ‘What’ the client moves to higher levels of awareness about himself.

The Challenging Dialogue

As soon as we get clear about the ‘What’ an adventurous journey begins inside the client’s world. We start exploring the why, the how, the when, the where, the whom, the possible steps and strategies, the resources, the obstacles and the ethical dimension of what he desires to achieve. Though it sounds simple, it isn’t. The client gets challenged and starts to search for answers within the chambers of his mind, often surprised by questions he never thought of and frames of references he wasn’t attentive to.

Types of Coaching Conversations

Coaching Conversations are driven by an outcome the client wants to achieve. Hence, the type of conversation varies based on the type of outcome. There are 6 types of coaching conversations:

1- Clarity 

To explore, discover or reduce confusion about certain matters.

2- Decision

To make commitment to a certain goal.

3- Planning

To develop a strategy, a mind map or a checklist to reach an outcome.

4- Resourcing

To access needed resources, to experience a resource or to invent one.

5- Change

To improve, change, alter or transform a behaviour, a belief, an understanding or a sense of identity.

6- Confrontation

To bring something unpleasant to the client’s awareness to facilitate his generative change.

Which types of conversation do you engage in in your daily life and to which extent do they serve you in becoming happier and more fulfilled? The life you daydream of is right around the corner. Reach out for it. Start engaging in purposeful conversations. Do it intentionally.

 

How Good Are You in Expressing Who You Are?

Please consider becoming a professional Stylist,” my fifteen-years-old daughter insisted last year. I laughed while explaining that though I do like styling I can’t take it as a profession. “I like to affect people’s lives in profound and more meaningful ways”, I replied.

May you take me on your next shopping tour?”, “Me too, I love the way you dress!”, “Yes, I admire your style.”, three of my peers in the Meta-Coaching bootcamp I was attending in February told me. Their words reminded me with my daughter’s suggestion and I shared with them my opinion about taking it as a profession.

Did it ever happen to you that you felt like the universe is overhearing you; offering you answers to your questions or sharing with you data about a matter that you were just concerned about? This is exactly what happened later, right after my peers brought up the matter of Styling.

The Coaching Categories 

During our next session we were invited to identify which category of Coaches we want to become. Given a couple of pages to read, I skimmed them and started to study thoroughly the subtitles under ‘Personal Coaching’. ‘Image Coaching’ puzzled me. As soon as we returned to the session I had my hand up and inquired its meaning. The answer surprised me. Never I thought how coaching people in how to dress, how to style their hair, how to take care of their personal hygiene would have a profound impact on their acceptance in job interviews, their relationships and their self-confidence. How fantastic!

Personal Coaching

Personal Coaching was my choice.  It focuses on an individual’s life. The life/work balance, goals, purpose and meaning, relationships, health, career and profession, wealth, lifestyle, value clarification. However, it included many specialised areas.

Personal Coaching Areas

Using my yellow highlighter I made my choice on starting my Coaching services in specific areas:

  • Life Coaching
  • Values Coaching
  • Goal setting Coaching
  • Career Coaching
  • Learning Genius Coaching
  • Relationship Coaching
  • Parenting Coaching
  • Family Coaching
  • Teens Coaching
  • Image Coaching

An ‘Image Coach’ was among my choices. Yes, I would coach people in how to dress and how to style their hair, aiming to transform their lives and their relationships. Seeing it in this context and for such a meaningful purpose I would do what my daughter nagged for last year.

Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak.” – Rachel Zoe