Do We Act or only React?

Do we own the power of our actions? Are we acting or reacting? Are our actions aligned with our values? Do we act according to our moods or according to our principles? Our actions represent us. We were born with the freedom to choose. To live happier lives, we need to make better choices regarding our actions.

Coaching Teenagers – Labelling

My heart is aching. Yes. It is aching. Exploring with the teenagers I coach the obstacles they face and which catch them from moving forward in life I feel devastated. Labelling. Whether it’s done by a parent, a family member, a teacher or a trainer. Labelling is one common factor behind the teens’ struggles. It starts with a label an adult uses, hoping to let the teenager perform or behave in a better way. ‘Stupid’, ‘Slow’, ‘Ugly’, ‘Fat’, ‘Impolite’ are just few examples. The teenager, trusting the adult figure, starts to believe this label and considers it as a part of his identity. With repetition, the label gets reinforced in the subconscious and the teenager starts to act accordingly.

Labelling. It breaks my heart seeing real gems struggling in life and living with poor self-confidence because of labelling.

Coaching Teenagers

Many teenagers struggling at school and with formal education. Unaware of themselves, their needs, their learning styles and their meta-programs they jump to general conclusions such as “I’m lazy”, “I’m not smart”, “I’m irresponsible.”

It’s one of the very enjoyable journeys to witness how teenagers expand the way they see themselves and develop effective strategies to reach their future goals.

The Cognitive Distortion of ‘Should-ing’

‘I must’, ‘I must not’, ‘I should’, ‘ shouldn’t’ are under the cognitive distortion of the ‘Should-ing’. Many people catch themselves from living the lives of their dreams just by embracing this limiting and false way of thinking. We ought to stop and reflect on our ‘must’ and ‘should’ and check their frames of reference and analyse whether we truly should or must do what we currently do and especially if it’s causing us pain or disatisfaction.

Hearing the Unheard

“People start to heal the moment they feel heard.” Cheryl Richardson

Are we truly heard? We might be talking and our family, friends and peers might be listening or even hearing. However, it takes a skilled and skilful Coach to hear the unheard and uncover the deep reasons behind our dissatisfaction and the obstacles catching us from living up to our potentials and dreams.