If we take a step backward to observe ourselves from within, what would be the emotional states dominating us over the period of a day? Would they be positive or negative states? To which extent are we allowing our feelings to turn us into powerless human beings?
Words are powerful. Once they are released they can’t be pulled back. Are we owning the powers over our words. To which extent do we use our words to create and shape the life we wish to live and the relationships we hope to have?
As a human being we all have four main powers. The power of thoughts, the power of feelings, the power of words and the power of actions. How powerful are you? Are you owning the powers of your thoughts?
My heart is aching. Yes. It is aching. Exploring with the teenagers I coach the obstacles they face and which catch them from moving forward in life I feel devastated. Labelling. Whether it’s done by a parent, a family member, a teacher or a trainer. Labelling is one common factor behind the teens’ struggles. It starts with a label an adult uses, hoping to let the teenager perform or behave in a better way. ‘Stupid’, ‘Slow’, ‘Ugly’, ‘Fat’, ‘Impolite’ are just few examples. The teenager, trusting the adult figure, starts to believe this label and considers it as a part of his identity. With repetition, the label gets reinforced in the subconscious and the teenager starts to act accordingly.
Labelling. It breaks my heart seeing real gems struggling in life and living with poor self-confidence because of labelling.
Fear. One of the common obstacles between many of us. We fear to change. Our mind plays tricks. ‘If I change I will no longer belong to my social groups’, ‘If I change my life system will collapse’, ‘If I change I will lose my identity’..these are some of the statement I repeatedly hear as a Coach.
Many teenagers struggling at school and with formal education. Unaware of themselves, their needs, their learning styles and their meta-programs they jump to general conclusions such as “I’m lazy”, “I’m not smart”, “I’m irresponsible.”
It’s one of the very enjoyable journeys to witness how teenagers expand the way they see themselves and develop effective strategies to reach their future goals.
‘I must’, ‘I must not’, ‘I should’, ‘ shouldn’t’ are under the cognitive distortion of the ‘Should-ing’. Many people catch themselves from living the lives of their dreams just by embracing this limiting and false way of thinking. We ought to stop and reflect on our ‘must’ and ‘should’ and check their frames of reference and analyse whether we truly should or must do what we currently do and especially if it’s causing us pain or disatisfaction.
“Coaching is releasing a person’s potential to maximise her own performance. It’s helping her to learn rather than teaching her.”
“People start to heal the moment they feel heard.” Cheryl Richardson
Are we truly heard? We might be talking and our family, friends and peers might be listening or even hearing. However, it takes a skilled and skilful Coach to hear the unheard and uncover the deep reasons behind our dissatisfaction and the obstacles catching us from living up to our potentials and dreams.