13 Steps to Organise Your Possessions

 

If you aren’t organised it’s never too late. As a child I was a complete mess. Currently people see me as a very organised person and my colleagues at work gave me the title of ‘The Most Organised’.
It all started with the need. As a teacher, I needed to be organised. I started to learn and practice the skill till I became organised. Considering that many people happen to use desks, or have children who possess desks, I will be giving my example on organising desks. However, the same 13 steps I’m sharing apply on almost all possessions we have.

The 13 Steps to Organise our Possessions:
1- Clarifying
Identifying what we want to organise (a desk, a wardrobe, the kitchen…etc)

2- Complete mess
Creating a pile from all the things we possess in this category and wish to organise.

3- Sorting
In one pile we keep what we really use or might need. In the second pile we would add the things we no longer need.

4- Checking
Checking the first pile one more time while considering the impact of what we want to keep on our happiness and energy. If there are things that won’t make us happy we better add them to the second pile.

5- Categorising 
By dividing the first pile into small piles of things from same type. A pile of pens, another for books, one for papers…etc.

6- Containerising 
By putting the possessions in each small pile in a suitable container (Pens in pen pots, papers in files..)

7- Listing
One of the challenges that people face is not having appropriate containers for what they possess. Hence, we need to be clear on what we need by writing a list (shelves, drawers, boxes…)

8- Allocating specific places
We need to consider two factors in this step. First, how often do we use each category in order to make the things we use frequently accessible. Second, the size of the items in each category. If what we possess is really large we might need certain drawers, boxes under the desk or extra shelves on top on the desk.

9- Labeling
Adding labels make it easier to access our possessions and helps our brains become more organised. We can also have specific copybooks/files/envelops for each workshop we attend, s

10- Decorating
Whether by adding flowers, scented candles or colours. Turning our desks into a cheerful place would encourage us to keep it organised.

11- Reusing
Reusing old boxes or jars as containers would save us money and with simple effort we can turn them into personalised good-looking containers.

12- Donating
In this step we will consider the second pile we left in step 3. We will need to check what should be thrown out and what can be donated and to whom and take a prompt action of donating.

13- Enjoying the process
Listening to music or chatting with a friend on the phone while organising really helps!

It sounds hard. It is but only at the beginning. Remember I was a messy child and now I became organised. It’s hard yet possible and very rewarding.

The Myth of “I Can’t”

Just two characters differentiate between ‘Can’ and ‘Can’t’, however, their impact is unbelievable.

Six years ago ‘We Can’ was the mantra I used with my students to motivate them to do their best in a Community and Service project I was leading and in which they were serving a group of Visually Impaired children. The two words worked like magic and not only my pupils reached their goals, they exceeded them. My main victory as a leader was embedding in my students a belief in their abilities and especially in such a young age; the teenage. What I failed to noticed back them was the many ‘I can’t’ I was repeating to myself and which formed a lens through which I saw myself.

Along my journey to become a Coach I learned how people grow up with limiting beliefs and how these beliefs affect them and control their lives. I discovered that ‘I can’t’ was a limiting belief. Reflecting on my life I noticed how I used to tell myself that I can’t write a novel, which I was capable of doing. And how I used to tell myself I can’t ride a motorcycle which I’m doing.

The Awareness

Analysing what happened in both situations I noticed how awareness was the beginning of change. With the novel I became aware that if I die without trying to write a novel I would feel regretful on my deathbed. I became aware that I have a desired outcome and that it’s very important for me to try to pursue it to avoid the pain of regret.

With the motorcycle the situation was different. I became aware of my fear. I was scared to ride a motorcycle. And I framed myself from my childhood that I possessed very poor coordination between my mind and my body. This was another limiting belief. I resisted for months to give it a try while my partner was very excited about me sharing with him this new hobby. I became aware of his wish and how important it was for him and I became motivated to change my mind frame for our relationship.

The Confrontation

My second observation was that admitting how I felt enabled me to turn the ‘I Can’t’ into ‘I Can’. I no longer denied my feelings and thoughts. I confronted them and shared them with the ones I trusted. I talked about them out loud and explored them and their references.

The Assistance 

My next step was asking for help. To write my novel I subscribed in Writing classes and asked for the support of numerous people every time I faced a challenge. Yet with the motorcycle it was different. I enrolled in a course and learned how to ride. However, I had fears. I was scared. These negative feelings were a gift as they alarmed me that there was something in my subconscious that I had to deal with. I expressed my fears to my partner and we developed a strategy to deal with my negative feelings. Unconsciously he coached me and enabled me to develop trust and confidence in my physical abilities and gradually my fear evaporated.

How many ‘I Can’t’ have you been telling yourself? And what were their impact on your self-confidence and your relationships? Give yourself permission to erase only two characters from this limiting belief and experience your life from a total new dimension.

If you still believe that you can’t, you can always ask for help!

“Thank you for giving me the chance to do something others my age don’t do. Thank you for teaching me that I’m not alone in this world. Thank you for showing me that a simple action can make a huge difference. Thank you for making me look at people differently and for appreciating the simple actions of others. Thank you for trusting my capabilities and for making me believe that I can actually change the world.” Hoda Labib, my student, 2013.

To Which Extent Do Your Thinking Equations Limit You?

“If…then” is a mindset that dominates many people’s lives. “If I disagree with my friends then I will lose them. If I negotiate my salary then my boss will think I’m materialistic and impolite. If I quit my job for a career shift then I will be considered a traitor to my organisation.” These are just three examples for several mindsets that were operating my mind and hence running and ruining my life. They reminded me with one of the equations we learned in Algebra; having the value of X and some givings at the beginning enabled us to predict the exact value of Y. All people would get the same answer despite their differences and individualities.

I love Algebra. Mathematics is my favourite discipline and Algebra is my favourable branch. However, life isn’t a Mathematical course. It includes limitless variables that we should guarantee nothing. “If… then” is one of the mindsets we ought to be attentive to and cautious to its effects.

“If I hadn’t studied literature then I can’t write a novel.” This was one of the thinking patterns I updated during the past year. I turned it into: “If I hadn’t studied literature then I need to learn and develop certain skills to write a novel.” I allowed myself to give it a try and the results were fantastic. Changing my thinking equation enabled me to write my first novel which became a bestseller at Virgin mega stores. It enabled me to make my career shift from Education to Coaching and Training. It allowed me to experience my life from a meta-level; a level beyond. Whenever I catch myself struggling I start analysing my mindset, evaluating and correcting it in order to live my life up to my highest dreams.

Changing my mindset allowed me to adopt a new life style, to unleash new potentials and mostly to become happier and more confident. One of my updated equations became: ’If I hadn’t studied…. then I need to learn and develop certain skills.’

Are you living up to your highest best? If not, is it your mindset what’s limiting you? Why wasting your time and settling for an average life? Help yourself or seek help. Just refuse to live and die without leaving a legacy that would prove that you existed one day on planet earth.

Once your mindset changes, everything on the outside will change along with it.” — Steve Maraboli

Which Model of the World Are You Creating?

I must go to work even if I’m sick. I must study even if I’m extremely exhausted. I must take my kids to the training even if my friends are hanging out and I wish to join them.

I must’ is one of the statements my clients frequently use. Working on my listening skills as a Meta-Coach, I became more attentive to their ‘Meta-programs’ or easier to call it their ‘Thinking patterns’.

The Meta-programs

Meta-Programs are perceptual lenses people use to make sense of their world. In most cases these meta-programs filter people’s lives and disable them from progressing. Meta-Coaches work on raising the clients’ awareness about the way they filter their lives and facilitate for them the expansion of their meta-programs.

I must’ is only one example from 60 meta-programs we studied as coaches. I used it to clarify our distorted way to see the world and lead our lives. When asked about the reference of ‘I must’, the clients, in most cases, remain clueless. Though unable to identify why they see it as a ‘must’, they find it hard to change this necessity.

Your Lenses, Your world

What kind of lenses are we wearing? And to which extent does our way of thinking filter our world? Are we perfectionists operating from an ‘either or’ meta-program (either 100% or nothing)? Are we competitive freaks who can’t stand anyone wining but ourselves and live by the rule of ‘in order to win others must lose’?

In order to experience a better life we need to change, and the first fundamental step in change is becoming aware of our lenses and selecting the ones that would lead us to the life of our dreams.

“Life is based on perception. Perception is based on opinion. Opinion is based on thought. Thought comes from the mind. Change your mind, change your life.”

If you’re a perfectionist check this book for Alice D. Domar Ph.D, it will unleash your potentials and take your life to a higher level.

https://www.amazon.com/Be-Happy-Without-Being-Perfect/dp/0307354881

 

6 Types of Conversations Can Transform Your Life

How many conversations do you engage in on the course of your day, your week, you month, your year and your life? The number is countless. Conversions affect us whether we want it or not, like it or not, aware of it or not. They do. They affect our thoughts, our perceptions, our feelings, our moods, our characters and most importantly they gradually shape our fate. The good news is, we can start engage in conversations intentionally in order to create the future we wish for and the one we never dared to dream of.

Coaching Conversations

Coaching is a conversation. A dialogue between two persons; the Coach and the client. However, it isn’t like the conversation between friends over a cup of coffee. It’s a conversation focused on a desired outcome, a change the client is aiming to realise.

Benefits of Coaching Conversations

One of the great things in a coaching conversation is the awareness it brings to the client; the ‘What’. What does he/she wants to change, not the effects, but the root causes.

I want to become more productive’ is one of the common desires of my clients. Would this be the ‘What’? Absolutely not. If we start the Coaching conversation here, the session will be superficial and change is doubted to happen. Not being productive is just an effect. During the fierce conversation we carry we start exploring and digging till we get to the heart of things. Causes might vary between lack of motivation or purpose, laziness, lack of skills, low self-confidence, limiting beliefs and the list goes on. By exploring the ‘What’ the client moves to higher levels of awareness about himself.

The Challenging Dialogue

As soon as we get clear about the ‘What’ an adventurous journey begins inside the client’s world. We start exploring the why, the how, the when, the where, the whom, the possible steps and strategies, the resources, the obstacles and the ethical dimension of what he desires to achieve. Though it sounds simple, it isn’t. The client gets challenged and starts to search for answers within the chambers of his mind, often surprised by questions he never thought of and frames of references he wasn’t attentive to.

Types of Coaching Conversations

Coaching Conversations are driven by an outcome the client wants to achieve. Hence, the type of conversation varies based on the type of outcome. There are 6 types of coaching conversations:

1- Clarity 

To explore, discover or reduce confusion about certain matters.

2- Decision

To make commitment to a certain goal.

3- Planning

To develop a strategy, a mind map or a checklist to reach an outcome.

4- Resourcing

To access needed resources, to experience a resource or to invent one.

5- Change

To improve, change, alter or transform a behaviour, a belief, an understanding or a sense of identity.

6- Confrontation

To bring something unpleasant to the client’s awareness to facilitate his generative change.

Which types of conversation do you engage in in your daily life and to which extent do they serve you in becoming happier and more fulfilled? The life you daydream of is right around the corner. Reach out for it. Start engaging in purposeful conversations. Do it intentionally.

 

How Good Are You in Expressing Who You Are?

Please consider becoming a professional Stylist,” my fifteen-years-old daughter insisted last year. I laughed while explaining that though I do like styling I can’t take it as a profession. “I like to affect people’s lives in profound and more meaningful ways”, I replied.

May you take me on your next shopping tour?”, “Me too, I love the way you dress!”, “Yes, I admire your style.”, three of my peers in the Meta-Coaching bootcamp I was attending in February told me. Their words reminded me with my daughter’s suggestion and I shared with them my opinion about taking it as a profession.

Did it ever happen to you that you felt like the universe is overhearing you; offering you answers to your questions or sharing with you data about a matter that you were just concerned about? This is exactly what happened later, right after my peers brought up the matter of Styling.

The Coaching Categories 

During our next session we were invited to identify which category of Coaches we want to become. Given a couple of pages to read, I skimmed them and started to study thoroughly the subtitles under ‘Personal Coaching’. ‘Image Coaching’ puzzled me. As soon as we returned to the session I had my hand up and inquired its meaning. The answer surprised me. Never I thought how coaching people in how to dress, how to style their hair, how to take care of their personal hygiene would have a profound impact on their acceptance in job interviews, their relationships and their self-confidence. How fantastic!

Personal Coaching

Personal Coaching was my choice.  It focuses on an individual’s life. The life/work balance, goals, purpose and meaning, relationships, health, career and profession, wealth, lifestyle, value clarification. However, it included many specialised areas.

Personal Coaching Areas

Using my yellow highlighter I made my choice on starting my Coaching services in specific areas:

  • Life Coaching
  • Values Coaching
  • Goal setting Coaching
  • Career Coaching
  • Learning Genius Coaching
  • Relationship Coaching
  • Parenting Coaching
  • Family Coaching
  • Teens Coaching
  • Image Coaching

An ‘Image Coach’ was among my choices. Yes, I would coach people in how to dress and how to style their hair, aiming to transform their lives and their relationships. Seeing it in this context and for such a meaningful purpose I would do what my daughter nagged for last year.

Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak.” – Rachel Zoe

How To Identify the Help You Need?

Though Coaching began as a new tool for individuals and organisations in the early 1990s and it’s heading to become a profession, many people still wrongly perceive it in Eastern cultures. They confuse coaching with therapy while they are way different.

The Five Helping Professions 

‘Tell me what to do’ is one of the common phrases many of my clients tend to say during our coaching sessions and which temped me to clarify in brief the differences between the five helping professions:

1- Training

Which means teaching and educating people through a process to enable them to perform a certain skill.

2- Mentoring:

Which means passing on specific information on a particular skill, knowledge, or expertise, to a less experienced person. It’s a process that includes giving advice, guidance and sharing one’s own personal story.

3- Therapy/Counselling:

Which focuses on problems, their sources and the results from those problems. It helps people in healing hurts and bring resolution to personal pain.

4- Consulting:

It involves giving advice and using one’s own expertise in a given field to inform a client what to do.

5- Coaching:

It’s an art; the art of facilitating the process with the client to identify a specific outcome he desires. It happens through a deep conversation that gets to the client’s core meanings, enabling him to mobilise his inner and outer resources for a generative change. A change that awakens, stretches, disturbs, challenges and unleashes the client’s potentials to live on a different level of life.

“Coaching is unlocking persons’ potentials to maximise their own performance. It’s helping them to learn rather than teaching them.” – Timothy Gallwey

Coaching is about helping people in embracing change and becoming more than they currently are, reaching peak performances and living a meaningful life. If you have a desired outcome, willing to change and yet lacking tools or facing obstacles, it’s time to consider having a Coach!

The 30 Million People Who Were Reached Out Because of a Diaper

Hitting the bottom might be the luckiest thing we ever experience. A powerful lesson I learned from Lisa Nichols, one of the world’s most-requested motivational speakers, as well as media personality and corporate CEO whose global platform has reached and served nearly 30 million people.

Lisa had a very humble beginning and she decided to pursue her calling the night she couldn’t afford buying a diaper for her toddler. She made a promise to her son that this would never happen again and that she will create a brand new version of their life. And she did it!

Transformational Coaching

Lisa Nichols, the lady who reached and served over 30 million people, prefers to be called a Transformational Coach, not a motivational one. She challenges her clients to do a revolutionary change, not accepting from them to settle for the easiest level of change; the behavioural one.

The Levels of Change 

Coaches invite people to feel uncomfortable, to discover the unknown countries of their own potentials. Accordingly, Coaching is about change. There are four levels of change:

1- Incremental (continuous) change:

Which focuses on expanding the same behaviour to new levels of flexibility.

2- Discontinuous change:

In which people adopt new behaviours and expand their frames of thinking.

3- Evolutionary change:

In this level people reexamine their identities, values and beliefs.

4- Revolutionary change:

This is the higher level of change; a change in the direction and the vision.

The First Step for Creating Change

I felt rock bottom, and I realised, ‘I have to do something,’” Nichols said. “I have to be my own rescue. No one’s going to rescue me.” Another life lesson from Lisa. No Coach will be able to help us unless we decide to help ourselves first. We must be willing to change. We must accept our circumstances, believe we can create a new brand future and only then a coach can help us transform.

I asked her how many Coaches did she have, she said three. What do you think I did as soon as I went home? I hired a third,” Lisa Nichols sharing her conversation with Oprah Winfrey during the break of the Oprah Show. Being a Coach herself didn’t stop her from hiring three Coaches to keep her promise to her son, transforming her own life and reach millions.

 

The Oprah Style for Expanding Oneself

Born to a former maid and a coal miner, barber, and city councilman, Oprah Winfrey has been cited as the richest African American of the 20th century with a wealth of 3 billion USD net worth (Forbes, 2017).  Wow…How fantastic!

Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment,” is one of her inspirational quotes that she not only talked yet walked. Doing her best.

Doing the best..

Though the words sound easy ‘Do your best’, they aren’t. How can we know the ‘best’ next step? How can we be sure of what needs to be done? How can we have enough clarity of what we ought to change? The answer is Coaching.

Coaching is the universal language of change and learning,”CNN

Oprah was able to change her reality and to create a new life out of her very humble and simple beginnings. She decided to change and sought learning.

Lisa Nichols, in one of her motivational speeches, shared: “During the break of the Oprah Show Oprah asked me how many coaches did I have, I said two. What do you think I did in the next break? I asked her how many coaches did she have, she said three. What do you think I did as soon as I went home? I hired a third.

Who is Lisa Nichols? This is another ‘How fantastic’ story on how people are the creators of their own destinies, not luck, not circumstances, nothing but their own will to change and learn, to unlearn and learn, all to make the impossible possible. These two fabulous American women believed in the revolutionary effect of coaching on their development and success.

Coaching is all about having someone believe in you and encourage you, about getting valuable feedback, about seeing things from new perspectives and setting your sights on new horizons.”author unknown

 

Taste The Difference with NLP!

Have you ever tried to lose weight or to quit smoking? While many people did try, very few succeeded in sustaining the results. Why? This is one of the things I discovered along my journey to become an NLP Practitioner (Neuro-Linguistic Programming).

In most diets or habit changing programs, people tend to change the behaviour, paying little attention to the reasons behind the behaviour. 

Since I was a child I feared dogs. Just seeing any dog from a distance, I used to sweat and feel my heart beats racing. Currently, our Cocker Spaniel is my dear friend. I neither feel scared nor sweat. All this is due to NLP.

“The magic of NLP is representation. That there is a movie on our mind, a TV screen on our minds where something is represented.  It could be just an image, it could be a sound,  it could be an old sound track. We can go inside this movie or we can just observe. Representation, the genius of NLP, is that we can break thought down to these modalities of thoughts and each modality is like a leverage point for being able to manage change in representation. As we represent so we experience and feel,” Michael Hall.

Coaching one of my clients, she figured out how her mind represents  ‘dieting’ as a prison with metal bars. This was her representation for diet and hence no matter how many times she tried to lose weight she always ended up by escaping the bars of this prison and unchaining herself by eating freely and gaining extra weight, more than what she originally wanted to lose.

 

Hence, NLP is a communication model that describes how language (linguistics) affects our body and physiology (neurology).  The movies we play in the theatre of our mind do send messages (and even commands) to our nervous systems about what to feel and how to respond and so create our internal reality.

As a model of human functioning, NLP describes the processes and patterns (programming) that is currently governing our mind-body system and the processes and patterns that could enable us to “run our own brain” in new and much more resourceful ways. 

Instead of seeing dieting as a prison which she longed to escape, my client identified her desired outcome as ‘Becoming more energetic and confident.” Her representation for this desired outcome was seeing herself in a movie on her mind screen moving freely, looking confident and hearing applause. This is the magic of NLP. Instead of seeing losing weight as a prison, she saw it as a way to become confident and more active. Instead of seeing dogs as attackers who would bite me, I saw the Cocker Spaniel as a vulnerable puppy that needed my care as a newly born baby.

To attain sustainable results, we ought to focus on changing our representations; the movie on our mind screen.

“If you keep doing what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you always got.”