That’s Why Awareness Turns Into A Curse

Is your heart aching? William Shakespeare claimed that: “Expectation is the root of all heartache”. And I wonder; had he been mistaken?

A couple of months ago I got certified as a Meta-Coach. On the same day of receiving my certificate, my mother and sisters surprised me with a cake and a beautiful bunch of flowers and celebrated my achievement.

Later on the same day my partner congratulated me verbally, warmly, and did nothing more. He didn’t arrange for me a surprise or get me a special gift on such a meaningful event for me. I remembered Gameela, one of my main characters in Fabulous Veils. How her partner failed to meet her expectations and how this was one of the main causes that bombarded their love story. Expectations from both sides.

I took a little pause to think of what I really wanted. I wished to celebrate with my husband my accomplishment. It didn’t matter for me that it would be a surprise. What mattered was that we celebrate together this milestone. I remembered John Gray’s teachings. I recalled how my partner comes from Mars and how I come from a different planet; planet Venus. I was aware that he loved me not less than my mother and sisters who all came from Venus. I remembered how he surprises me from time to time. And how his work was overwhelming him in this period. And though I was aware of what I wanted, I knew that awareness wouldn’t take me anywhere. I knew I had to communicate what I wanted. And most importantly, to communicate it in the language that my partner understands; the language of planet Mars.

Attending a Jazz concert at the Cairo Opera House was my choice for celebration. We spent a night-to-remember enjoying the melodies and each other. My heart was filled with gratitude to both my partner and Shakespeare. I refused to live my life as a victim like Gameela. I learned from her that awareness without communication is a curse that fires people’s lives and it starts by destroying them from within.

Men are motivated and empowered when they feel needed. Women are motivated and empowered when they feel cherished.” John Gray

#FabulousVeilsNovel#I’m not a feminist

My cause is beyond men and women. Beyond feminism. My novel is a call for Humanity. It’s about the human being, whether a male or a female. It’s about the limiting beliefs and lack of freedom we suffer from in Egypt and worldwide. If you are a parent you will find yourself within its pages. If you’re a young adult you will find it expressing what you wished to cry out and couldn’t.

#FabulousVeilsNovel#Book Review

“An absorbing novel accurately painting women’s feelings in a “normally” oppressing society, where oppression is the norm.

In different social standards of the Egyptian society women are used, abused, or misused for anything but their own happiness and desire. Iman masterfully and sensitively describes feelings in a realistic approach that brings life into all her characters and easily allows the reader to live their different lives.You get attached to all the characters to the extent that after finishing the book you start to miss them.

It is a decent scream calling for women’s rights and freedom, and giving strong hopes in a better tomorrow.”

 

What Do You Want?

Is it possible to reach a certain destination without identifying it clearly from the first place? It’s true that Hanan, the help’s daughter in Fabulous Veils was completely aware of what she didn’t want. However, her life didn’t turn out to be a terrific one. She refused to work like her mother and she ended up doing nothing. Nothing.

Are We Aware of What We Want?

“To begin with the end in mind means to start with a clear understanding of your destination. It means to know where you’re going so that you better understand where you are now and so that the steps you take are always in the right direction.” Stephen R. Covey. 

This quote reveals a big secret behind our constant dissatisfaction. Do we have a clear vision of what we want? It’s true that it’s important to identify what we don’t want, yet this is only the beginning. The next step is to figure out clearly and specifically what do we want.

Begin with the End in Mind

This is the title of the second habit of highly effective people in Covey’s best selling book. In simple words he invited the reader to imagine his 80th birthday. Then to think of the people he wishes they would be there and what they would say about the life he had carried on. If you were celebrating your 80th birthday now would you be surrounded with the people who matter to you the most? Are you aware of who they are? And are you currently putting deposits in their accounts and communicating to them genuinely what they mean to you? What about your values and what you’re standing for in your life. Would people succeed in speaking about the principles you demonstrated and your contributions. Would their speeches be aligned with what you devoted your life to.

Less is More

In order to become aware of what we want we need to have less. Less possessions, less noise, less business, less waste of time. We need to have more time for reflection, for meditation, for silence and for stillness. More time away from the materialistic life. More time in nature. More time walking barefoot and connecting to earth and its elements. More time to journal our thoughts and our dreams. More time to imagine and envision the life that would make us stay immortal in the hearts of our beloved ones. More time to think of our strengths and uniqueness and how to use them for the best of mankind.

“Less is always more. The best language is silence. We live in a time of a terrible inflation of words, and it is worse than the inflation of money.” Eduardo Galeano

Watch Covey’s video of the 80th birthday at:

 

#FabulousVeilsNovel#Mothers are Role Models

One of my favourite interviews. Mixing it with laughters, Lamia Tamam pinpointed serious issues in our community. Fatherhood isn’t limited to financial duties and children do need to be raised by both parents . Mothers are role models, they ought to watch themselves and be aware of the model they are leaving for their children.

#FabulousVeilsNovel#Book Review

“It’s a real page turner. Fabulous Veils tells the story of three women of different social standards in Egypt, each facing the same monster ‘opression’. While each woman fights her own battle you are emotionally bonded to each one of them. The novel addresses issues in the Egyptian society that must be eradicated in order for our beloved Egypt to thrive. A brilliant read.”

 

The Greatest Agent of Change

“I’m not working as a khadama!” yelled Hanan. The vulnerable poor girl who was oppressed since she was born insisted, opposing her mother who was trying to convince her to work as a help, just like her.

Many people feel lost, unaware of what to do with their lives. Uncertain about their passion, their mission and their life purpose. When asked for an advice, I encourage my students and friends to start by doing what Hanan, my side character in Fabulous Veils, had done. Identifying what we don’t want is a great progress on the path of personal fulfilment . Becoming aware of what we don’t want our life to turn to brings us clarity and motivates us to move away from it.

My father was a Surgeon. His vocation was very demanding. He spent his early mornings writing papers and books. In his mornings and noons he was a Professor and he deliberately spent his evenings in his clinic. This left us, his family, only with one meal with him over the course of the day. We understood he was busy for a holy mission, hence, my mother was the one in charge of raising me and my three sisters.

Turning into an adult, I was aware I didn’t want to marry a doctor. I didn’t want to raise my children on my own. I didn’t want them to feel the void I felt. And I didn’t want to live as a single mother while being married. My next step was thinking of the traits I won’t tolerate to live with. I knew I wouldn’t stand stinginess, poor hygiene and dishonesty. Being aware of what I don’t want gave me clarity of what to turn down.

To which extent are we aware of what we don’t want? Whether in our personal lives, our professions, our style of living and our relationships. If you don’t feel satisfied with your current life, slow down and start paying attention of what you don’t want.

Awareness is the greatest agent of change.” — Eckhart Tolle