#FabulousVeilsNovel#Book Review

“Fabulous Veils is an astonishing book. The best thing about it is how it opens people’s minds about the lives in these categories of our society. I’m so proud that Iman Refaat had chosen to speak about the Egyptian woman as she is badly portrayed & strongly oppressed.

Her book has taught me that we need to acknowledge these issues especially all these old barbaric thoughts & rituals, also to stand up for our rights.

I really enjoyed reading the novel, it has such a profound message and it is delivered marvelously. Definitely one of my favorites. I recommended it to all of my friends. Can’t wait till her next work!”

 

#FabulousVeilsNovel#Communication_Mistakes

All relationship problems stem from poor communication.” John Gray, Best Selling Author of ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’, identified fourteen communication mistakes women do in times of conflict. Gray was fair enough to identify fourteen communication mistakes men do as well. In order to have a better planet, we need to have better relationships and without healthy communication relationships die.

 

#FabulousVeilsNovel#Book Review 

“It took me a week to read it. I felt as if I lived with and known each one of the characters. I hated them all, loved them all, empathised with them all, pitied them all and felt their happiness and sorrows. Beside the writing style and how it makes you see the scenes in real, the stories are so deep and so touching. Everyone who is oppressed is a victim by choice and criminal by force.

Oppression is a closed end circle that must end.

We must not accept to live the life of victimhood or oppress others for the sake of social acceptance.”

 

Which Type of Abuse Are You Incubating?

I can’t imagine how stupid you are. What is it, don’t you have a brain?” ‘Stupid’, ‘lazy’, ‘fat’, ‘careless’, ‘dumb’, ‘ignorant’, are few examples of the insults women often embrace passively.

Insults don’t stick”, a friend once told me. “I don’t care if my husband insults me as long as he pays my checks,” laughingly she added. The same friend, a decade later, went through an aggressive divorce battle and had to give up all her possessions just to rescue herself and her children from a cheater and a domestic abuser. It’s true that words don’t stick, yet their impact does. The emotional pain of insults remains in our nervous system and our subconscious. And gradually we start to belittle ourselves and to accept what we thought we would never tolerate.

Fatma, the poor vulnerable help in Fabulous Veils, thought she was obeying God by surrendering to her husband. The greatest heaven was the reward she awaited in exchange to her husband’s verbal, physical and sexual abuse.

Gameela, the middle class wife, accepted an unhealthy marriage under the name of love. Baring verbal abuse at first and then physical abuse and infidelity.

Madiha, the high class divorced woman, protecting her reputation, remained silent towards her husband’s financial abuse and her manager’s sexual harassment.

Why do women accept abuse?

Brainwashing. Whether at schools, on traditional media channels or social media, we are subject to subliminal messages all the time. Forming, or better say deforming, our beliefs about ourselves and our capabilities. We get raised in an environment that incubate gender inequality. We don’t object that boys be treated differently than girls. We grow up thinking that men’s main role is to work and provide money and women’s main role is to raise children. We let go of our rights, and many of us so often live and die unaware of their rights.

Advertising, music, atmospheres, subliminal messages and films can have an impact on our emotional life, and we cannot control it because we are not even conscious of it.” Tariq Ramadan

Who are the worst abusers?

Parents who disempower their daughters, from my perspective, are the first and most violent abusers. And husbands who continue to disempower their wives are the most stupid of all. For how could abused women raise healthy and stable children? When we disempower women we actually corrupt the world.

If you really want to change a culture… empower women.” Greg Mortenson

 

#FabulousVeilsNovel#Book Review

“Refaat’s book is a window on the daily agony of many Egyptian women – of the same age bracket of Gameela, Madeeha and Fatema, as of older and younger. It shows the complexity of anxieties that go way beyond the obvious financial challenges, to the emotionally draining binds that most must submit to.

With 2017 labeled by the Egyptian government as ‘the year of women’ by the government, with officials making announcements about state support for women, Fabulous Veils offers a serious reminder that many injustices go deeper than what the state is yet willing to acknowledge.”

http://english.ahram.org.eg/NewsContentP/18/257498/Books/Five-titles-to-consider-at-the–Cairo-Book-Fair-.aspx

 

Fate or Destiny, Which One Are You Living?

Religion. One of the concepts people aggressively use to veil our brains. ‘Ady Allah we ady hekmeto’ (that is God’s will and wisdom), was the mantra Sheikh Hassan taught Fatma, the vulnerable Help in Fabulous Veils. Brainwashed by false religious teachings, she surrendered to her violent husband. Embraced his domestic abuse. And she called it ‘fate’.

Do we truly have no control over the events of our lives? ‘Nassiby’, ‘Kadary’, ‘Esmety’, are examples of the words the society install in our brains and they become a part of our identity. Scared to be accused of not worshiping God, we consider it a taboo to discuss religion.

Would we ever give ourselves permission to discuss this taboo? Identifying what’s sacred and holy from what’s evil and ugly? Not allowed to think, Fatma accepted the Sheikh’s words and took them for granted. She was an illiterate poor maid. She lacked the ability to think logically, analyse and reflect. What about us the ‘educated’? Do we allow ourselves to think or evaluate what we were taught about religion? Or are we acting like Fatma, creating more misery on Earth; accepting to be victims of fate?

Year after year we keep worshiping Allah during Ramadan through fasting, praying, donating and serving. Why not adding to these practices the habit of thinking? To reflect and evaluate our contributions in God’s kingdom. To study the concepts we were taught about religion and their frames of references. Why not shaping our destinies through selected positive actions that we choose instead of submitting to a fate that we believe it’s ours?

Fate is the preordained course of your life that will occur because of or in spite of your actions. Destiny is a set of predetermined events within your life that you take an active course in shaping.”