“Rejoice with your family in the beautiful land of life.” Albert Einstein
Do you often change to get ‘away from‘ or to get ‘towards‘? The axe of change explains how people vary. Some people tend to wait for real pain and dissatisfaction in their lives to seek change to get away from the pain. While others seek happiness and peak performance and hence they seek the change in order to get towards their life purpose. And though both types seek change, many might fail to reach their desired outcomes. Equipped with skills, a coach works as a facilitator for change helping the clients to identify the real reasons that are creating the pain, or the inner and outer resources that would mobilise them, and hence reaching real results instead of just dealing with the events happening on the surface.
“Fabulous Veils is a stop sign against all female oppression. It is an alarm to think of the actions we do to our female surrounding imaging that we are protecting them, while we might be banning them from having a better chance in life.
I got involved with the three main different female characters from the very beginning. What was really shocking that women were more accused to show oppression and discrimination against each other more severally than men do.”
“You’re not allowed to watch it until I do first and approve it,” my mother used to tell my sisters and me. With her strict character and high standards we knew that we would rarely watch a movie on the new video machine she had bought. We lowered our expectations, accepted our fate and surrendered to watching only series and movies aired on the formal Egyptian television channels.
Getting married in my early twenties, I moved to my marital house and I had no one to supervise me. I spent hours on daily basis watching private television channels and revenging my years of deprivation. Insults, vulgar language and violent scenes shocked me. Little by little I became selective and followed actors who were known to add value and promote for good ethics. The more my professional and personal responsibilities increased the less time I had to watch TV. I committed to watch one episode during the month of Ramadan until I had a breakthrough.
Writing my own novel ‘Fabulous Veils’ made me consider series and movies from a whole new perspective. I understood how Writers carefully select their words and creatively build their scenes to deliver certain messages and instil certain beliefs. I became more attentive while watching Drama and made sure to reflect on what I watched and reject what didn’t match my value system or my code of ethics.
Few months after publishing my novel I started studying to become a Life Coach. Learning about NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming), the language of the mind and the power of subconscious I had an OMG moment. I started reexamine my thoughts, ideas, opinions and beliefs. And sadly I discovered how, in may cases, Drama played a fundamental role in distorting them.
“I’m following six different series this Ramadan,” my cousin declared last week. Her words left me bitter, understanding how, unconsciously, her mind and beliefs will be poisoned and how her personal and professional life might be affected with the cheap drama aired on countless channels in a condensed dosage during the ‘holy’ month of Ramadan.
Long live my mother who made sure to supervise what her daughters would watch and who made sure herself to watch what would develop her mind as a wife, a mother and most of all a human being and a role model.
If we became addicts to worthless drama, at least let us be intellectual viewers who reflect on what’s presented and who would make a quality control first on what to welcome in our conscious and subconscious minds.
“Whatever we plant in our subconscious mind and nourish with repetition and emotion will one day become a reality.” – Earl Nightingale
To which extent did we benefit from the holy month of Ramadan?
Fabulous Veils isn’t just a novel, it’s a social movement and women are the hope for an Egyptian revival.
One of the secrets of time management is blocking times for the things we do on regular basis. This helps us identify the slots of time remaining and hence better use them. Reflecting on our time blocks in the frame of the various roles we’re playing in life enlightens us and enables us to better organise our time around our priorities.
Coaching is a conversation between two parties the client and the coach for a desired outcome. The conversation isn’t limited to one type, there are several types of conversations based on the client’s situation and his desired outcome.
Types of Coaching Conversations:
Why living unhappy or dissatisfied? Consider trying a fierce conversation with a life coach to create the life of your dreams.
“Fabulous Veils is an astonishing book. The best thing about it is how it opens people’s minds about the lives in these categories of our society. I’m so proud that Iman Refaat had chosen to speak about the Egyptian woman as she is badly portrayed & strongly oppressed.
Her book has taught me that we need to acknowledge these issues especially all these old barbaric thoughts & rituals, also to stand up for our rights.
I really enjoyed reading the novel, it has such a profound message and it is delivered marvelously. Definitely one of my favorites. I recommended it to all of my friends. Can’t wait till her next work!”
My mother had an aunt who was nearly her age and whom she considered her best friend. Whenever she felt angry she would call her aunt who would listen to her empathetically, calm her down and encourage her to be patient and strong in facing life’s adversities. They both belonged to a different world than the one we currently live in.
Scrolling the Facebook I feel puzzled with the large number of posts women share on their personal problems and conflicts with their spouses or divorcés. The hottest the problem is, the more likes and interactions. Comments vary between other women sharing more problems or encouraging the original post writer to avenge. And sadly, almost no one plays the role my mother’s aunt used to play.
Why do we Fast?
I started seriously to consider this question. Why apart from God’s many orders we still fast while neglecting other devotions? And what is fasting about from the first place? Was it meant to spend the day, while fasting, fighting with our spouses, complaining from our children and cursing our lives and circumstances? Didn’t the same God who ordered us to fast order us to have love and mercy in our marriages and to well raise our children?
‘Iqraa’ (Read) was the first order from God to his prophet Muhammed (PBUH). It was neither fast nor pray. And this order to read wasn’t for sure an order to read social media posts which go viral destroying marriages and tearing familial bonds. And though to ‘read’ was God’s first order, I learned in a recent course I attended that Arabs read an average of six minutes a year. SIX MINUTES A YEAR.
Fasting in the 21st Century
Shocked with the 6-minutes-news my mind started to wander. What if we adopted a new style of fasting. One in which we fast for a whole month from complaining from our families, from sharing our intimate problems on social media and from detoxing our minds from the poisonous posts on women’s private groups. What would happen if we start investing the same time we used to spend in such toxic activities in reading and learning about restoring marriages and raising children. And what if we go out of Ramadan with an action plan for the next year to put what we learned into practice. What if Ramadan became a month in which we fast from familial fights, conflicts and disputes and we come out of it with a peaceful home and better marriage ties. Isn’t Islam in its origin a religion of peace?
“Marriage is hard work. You cannot do it on your own. The secret is to always ask Allah to help you make it work.”