Which Role Are You Playing, the Martyr or the Victim?

Governments in less developed countries create constant crises to keep their citizens busy with the struggle of everyday life’. This is one of the concepts I had studied in the 20th century. Whether it’s the traffic, the economic inflation, the terrorism, it doesn’t matter. All what matters is to keep people struggling with their safety and physiological needs so that they stay distracted and claim no rights.

Madiha and Mony, two of my female characters in Fabulous Veils, weren’t struggling like the majority of the Egyptian population. They belonged to the Elite. Their family had power and their basic human needs were fulfilled. They both had awareness. However, their lives took different detours. Madiha, the mother, was aware that she didn’t want to get married that young. She was aware she wanted to postpone her marriage. She was aware that her groom was cold. And though she had awareness, she stood still doing nothing. She took the seat of the audience and allowed her mother to direct her life like a marionette.  She played the role of the victim and wrongly believed she was a martyr.

Mony, the daughter, was aware too that she didn’t want to get married. She was aware that she wanted to study abroad. And she was aware that she won’t accept to be treated as a marionette. She found in her mother no martyrs and she refused to become another copy of her mother, grandmother and great ancestors. She communicated her needs, her wants, her dreams. And though she communicated them clearly, she was neither heard nor understood.

Awareness and communication weren’t enough. To live her own life and create her own fate she needed to take the whole responsibility on her shoulders. She needed to stand up for her choices. She needed to be bold and to be strong.

Love, the purest and most holy power on Earth, should never become our curse. Our beloved ones don’t have the right to control our lives or slaughter our dreams. True love, whether it’s from a parent or a lover, should empower us and turn us into heroes and role models. Love wasn’t meant to create neither victims nor martyrs.

You don’t get good karma by making yourself into a martyr. Learn how to stand up for yourself and your good karma will be delivered in that instant.” Bryant MCGILL

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