Gradually. It starts with simple things. Things we can easily let go. Unaware that little things are BIG things. Because it was never about the things, it’s always the reason behind that counts. Gameela, one of my main characters whom readers adored and hated at the same time, is one of the great examples of how we, women, practice submission. It all started with high heels. This was where Gameela started to let go of who she was for her ‘love’: “She had been missing her high heel sandals, yet she had promised him not to wear neither sandals nor high heels after he had explained to her that they made women look sexy and might be considered dishonoured.” Twenty years later, in the novel, Gameela ended with this: “Two more days and you close the atelier.”
How many of us are reflections of Gameela? How many women, under the name of love surrendered? How many females forgot their dreams and muted their inner voices to feel loved? And again, is this the love they dreamed of? Did it nurture them?
Giving up high heels wasn’t the mistake Gameela omitted. Silencing her voice was her sin. Instead of appreciating her wish to please him, her oppressor considered it his lifetime right. To order and she obeys. To command and she surrenders. And isn’t this what many lovers do? Hypnotising their beloved ones gradually till they surrender unconsciously, believing that they were created weak and that they have no choice?
To receive love, the love that helps the person blossom, women need to love themselves first. For who they are, for the person they hold within, which has nothing to do with how they look, the number they see on the scale or the softness of their skin.
Change your lens, change you life. Look at yourself as a part of the universe. As a unique gift. No one ever was you and no one ever will be you. You are so precious and so rare. You were created by God. The same God who created the flowers and the birds. The same creator of the whole universe. He made it so diverse and so different so that every woman stands in pride, feeling her beauty shining from within, embracing herself with unconditional love and allowing herself to refuse to practice any sorts of submission even if it was not wearing high heels.