Love. One of the thick veils. “I love you, obey me. If you love me, change for me. Because I love you, I have the right to control you”. One of the widely common misconceptions.
When I was a little girl I read a story of a boy who was about to cut a beautiful flower. His guardian stopped him explaining that this a selfish action, “To own it you will be ‘killing’ it.” The boy claimed that he loved the flower and wanted it to be ‘his’. The wise old man replied: “To love is to water and to nurture. If you make it yours you will be depriving it from its roots and detaching it from its community and friends. By time, it will fade and die.”
How many of us were flowers? How many were cut under the name of love and allowed themselves to fade and pale? Is this truly called love? Why do we do what we do? Why do accept others to control our lives while standing still? Are we truly weak or we think we’re weak? Is it a reality or a false belief? Would we allow ourselves to slow our pace and reexamine our thoughts? Would we have the courage to take a step backward and differentiate between what’s real and what’s unreal? Or we will choose to stay fooled as Soren Kierkegaard said, “There are two ways to be fooled. One is to believe what isn’t true; the other is to refuse to accept what is true.”
Our ignorance is their power. People will keep controlling us as long as we’re unaware of our strengths and potentials. Of our values and identity. Of our preferences and priorities. Our first and most dangerous ignorance is to live not knowing who we truly are and what we specifically want in this life. And the second ignorance is to practice submission in our circles. To allow our family and friends to control us under the name of love. To accept from ourselves to turn into victims under the name of love.
I strongly agree with Rhonda Byrne that “There is no greater power in the Universe than the power of love.” The love that empowers others. The love which urges them to develop and to grow. The love which would enable them to flourish and blossom. From my perspective, submission and love can never make a right match.