The Number ONE Reason Behind Our Misery

Men are from Mars Women are from Venus and Children are from Heaven. This book was the first bell that rang on my journey as a woman. Before reading this book, I never considered the differences between genders. As a mother of a toddler, back then, my intention was to raise my son well. What I didn’t expect is that the book would help me understand myself better, my partner better and lead us both to create a better relation.

One of the concepts that hit me was how women keep giving, waiting for nothing in return and sacrificing till their well dries. And then one day, they wake up declaring that they can no longer proceed with a relationship in which they were the givers for God know how long. And what had made them stay mute for so many years? Ignorance. Strong word but true.

I was ignorant too. I never expected that men and women spoke different languages, had different nature and different needs. How would I know if in my fourteen years of education at school, followed by four years of education at university and then one year for getting my diploma, none of my teachers or professors tackled this concept. How would I know if with all the subjects that I had studied nothing cared enough to help me become aware of who I am or familiarised me with the other gender who was expected to become a spouse one day?

Reading John Grey’s book I was enlightened. I understood how women, not only me and not only women in less developed countries, but women around the globe, by nature, don’t express their needs. They expect from people to offer help, to show care, to display kindness, to express appreciation, to organise surprises, to get gifts and the list goes on. And what happens after expectations? As said by William Shakespeare: “Expectations is the root of all heartache”. Disappointment, heartbreak, sadness, hurt and what happens next? Conflicts, fights, disputes, quarrels. And then? Two people living on separate islands. The majority of women playing the victim, cursing luck, fate, destiny and every possible thing. Why? Because of ignorance. It’s true we never had Relationship education or Self-awareness education at schools, in my country at least, yet ignorance afterwards becomes a choice. A choice done by millions of people who prefer to complain than to read, to break families than to restore relationships, to silence their needs than to claim their rights and most of all to become a copy instead of standing for who they were meant to be; a genuine human being.

The revival starts with us; women. And our first task and duty to lead a better country is to become aware of our needs, our rights, our nature and to empower ourselves for the next steps of grabbing them from whoever is denying them. Be it a parent, a guardian, a spouse, a boss, it doesn’t matter. All what matters is that we no longer accept and choose to stay ignorant.

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