What’s the first thing that pops to your mind when you hear the word ‘space’? For me, I used to think of the physical space, like space to store my belongings or space for me to work quietly. After few years of marriage, my husband and I started to disagree more than usual. Most of the time our conflicts were on simple stuff that I would even call ‘silly‘. Hearing from many wives in my community the same complaints of their fading marriages and growing tension, I decided to take a different path. I was keen to live happily, even if happily ever after was considered a tale by others. Hoping to better understand my husband’s nature as a man, I read the ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’ and was fascinated by the concept of the ‘cave‘. Comprehending how men need some ‘space’ every single day and especially when they arrive home, opened for me a new paradigm. In few weeks the tension started to decrease and peace found its route again to our home.
With my children growing into teens, I noticed how both of them needed a space, not only my son, yet my daughter too. This led me to identify 8 types of spaces each person needs to live happily and carry healthy familial relationships:
1- Space of time.
Allowing people to stay on their own, to think, to reflect and to listen to their inner voices.
2- Physical space.
Even if the house is tiny, having a certain space for each member and only for him creates a sense of security and privacy.
3- Verbal space.
In which people have the freedom to express themselves, their thoughts and their feelings without being judged or offended.
4- Space for practicing hobbies.
Whether by having a physical place or an amount of time in which the person feels free to enjoy his hobby.
5- Space for friends.
In some cases spouses get upset when a partner spends time with friends, and some go to the extent of accusing him or her of loving friends more.
6- Space to be oneself.
Without wearing masks. To walk the way we want, dress the way we prefer, without constant criticism and objections.
7- Space to be out of mood.
To be upset, sad or down. We are human beings and no one is pleasant all the time. We need to accept this fact and allow our beloved ones to be out of mood every now and then.
8- Space for money.
To spend an amount of the money we earn the way we prefer, even if it’s a limited amount and even if others disagree with how we spend it.
After nineteen years of marriage, I figured out that not only men need a ‘cave‘, every person does and especially family members who live together under the same roof, despite their gender and age.
You’re most welcomed to share with us in the comments the other types of spaces you identified from your personal experience.