Parents could be the number one reason behind children’s failures, confusion, disorientation, poor confidence or agony. Many parents spend much more time to secure their children financially than to bring them up. Either they raise their children the way they were raised, the way they wished to be raised or they leave them to life to raise them. In all cases, the children become victims who grow into adults affecting our world in a negative way. Working with children and teens for nearly two decades, I have listed 60 mistakes parents could do that damage their kids either physically, emotionally or socially:
1- Not being clear about the objectives of having children from the first place.
2- Not being clear about the principles and values of the family.
3- Not acting out up to these principles.
4- Fighting together in front of them.
5- Not saying sorry when doing mistakes.
6- Allowing them to eat at any time without an eating schedule.
7- Filling their tummies with chips, biscuits and other junkies.
8- Allowing them to nap for too long during the day.
9- Not setting a specific bedtime.
10- Punishing them regularly.
11- Punishing them while being angry without thinking well of the punishment.
12- Criticising them in public.
13- Thinking of them in terms of students only not human beings.
14- Not setting clear rules for outings, traveling, inviting friends…etc.
15- Breaking the set rules with no valid reasons.
16- Praising a child more than his siblings.
17- Not noticing the good-by-nature child and taking his positive behaviour for granted.
18- Expecting from them to be perfect.
19- Providing them with all their needs and wants and showering them with gifts.
20- Not giving them a share in the home chores.
21- Leaving them with an open budget.
22- Not developing their talents, skills and capabilities.
23- Planning their paths and future careers for them.
24- Not giving them space to do mistakes.
25- Not setting clear consequences for mistakes.
26- Not teaching them to make amends.
27- Not spending time with them for play.
28- Not listening to their dreams and fantasies.
29- Not listening to their worries and fears.
30- Neglecting their brains and well being during vacations.
31- Not teaching them the basics of hygiene.
32- Not connecting them to their souls through prayers or meditation.
33- Not hugging or kissing them and not showing affection.
34- Keeping them busy by watching TV or playing on electronics with no limited duration.
35- Not teaching them the value of time and hard work.
36- Making fun of their dreams and wishes.
37- Ignoring their bodies and physical well being.
38- Catching them doing the wrong thing all the time.
39- Not catching them doing the good things.
40- Not saying please and thank you.
41- Not teaching them how to express their feelings.
42- Not teaching them how to communicate decently in conflicts.
43- Not teaching them how to express their love to others.
44- Not teaching them how to speak to elder people and respect waiters, helps…etc
45- Not teaching them good manners.
46- Not knowing their friends.
47- Sharing their secrets with the big family or friends.
48- Invading their privacy.
49- Comparing them with siblings, cousins, friends…..etc
50- Ignoring to educate them sexually.
51- Not teaching them how to serve others, how to be kind and compassionate.
52- Mistakenly thinking that they own them.
53- Not giving them the freedom to make choices.
54- Not discussing with them the consequences of their choices.
55- Not teaching them good habits and hobbies.
56- Not teaching them how to greet people in happy events and how to condole them in sad events.
57- Not teaching them the great value of forgiveness and embed in them the culture of peace, contribution and global citizenship.
58- Not teaching them how to play alone and how to enjoy one’s own company.
59- Underestimating their capabilities.
60- Expecting from them to act like adults and to commit to what adults fail to commit to.
It’s never too late. Even if you had messed up in the past, there is always room for a new start.