Why Partners Act Differently With Their Spouses and Children

“If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.” Thinking of this quote, my mind edited it, replacing the word ‘inferiors’ with ‘close family’ and the word ‘equals’ with ‘friends and acquaintances’. Despite the many years I had lived, I always failed to understand why many men – in our culture – would be outgoing, cool, funny, cheerful and talkative with their friends, relatives and even acquaintances while acting differently with their parents, wives and children. They would spend hours at home without muttering a word, becoming nervous easily and complaining from being exhausted and tired most of the time. Same as for many women in my community, who would spend hours to get dressed nicely, to wear make up and dress their hair before hanging out. And when it comes to their families, they would stay at home poorly dressed, with messed hair and pale faces. Why not acting at our best with the people we love the most, and aren’t we supposed to love our families much more than anyone else? These questions had echoed in my heart for so long. Writing my blog entry yesterday on the ‘segregated self’ helped me seeing the matter from a different perspective. Maybe it wasn’t that we are treating others better than our families or beloved ones, maybe it was just that we act like our actual selves at home while with others we tend to put on masks. To have healthy relationships, it goes without saying that both parties need to nurture the relation and enrich it. On one side, we need to love our beloved ones unconditionally, embracing them as they are with their actual selves; without masks. And on the other side, our beloved ones need not to take us for granted and to nurture our relation by knowing what truly matters for us, what makes us happy and then put effort, sincere effort to express their love in the languages we appreciate the most. 
To read more on the segregated self click here:



One thought on “Why Partners Act Differently With Their Spouses and Children

  1. To express our needs & worries to each other’s lead to a great feeling of relief & being clear about our different needs make it easier to our surroundings to understand the way we act ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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