‘The first step into self-awareness is knowing what we didn’t know that we didn’t know.’ The instructor’s sentence seemed complicated that I had to write it down and reread it several times. During the transformation workshop, he tackled the topic of ‘The segregated self’, explaining that each person has four sides:1- The true me: what I should be and what I’m meant to be. It includes what I might still not know about myself
2- The actual me: who I am and what I know about myself
3- The presented me: who I want others to think I am, trying to pretend to be someone else in order to be liked or fearing to be disliked or rejected
4- The perceived me: what people actually think of me and who I am from their perspective
It was my first time to hear about this topic. Invited to think of the masks each one of us is wearing, I felt alarmed. ‘If the gap between your ‘actual me’ and your ‘perceived me’ is large, then take care that you’re wearing too many masks,” he added.
Who are we is an important question, however, the most important one is ‘who are we meant to be?’ Most of us try their very best to be accepted, to be liked and to fit. And in these trials, we lose ourselves and become like the moon which appears lighted while it’s dark in real. It depends completely on the sun’s projection of light, while it has no light of its own.
To figure out who we are meant to be we need to figure out first what we didn’t know that we didn’t know. It could be ‘I didn’t know that I didn’t know my talents, I didn’t know that I didn’t know my top priorities, or I didn’t know that I didn’t know what is the purpose of my life.’
Our homework after the workshop was to shorten the gap between the true me and the actual me. We were given the following tips:
– Listening to our inner voices
– Facing and dealing with our fears of being who we are truly meant to be
– Acting with immediate obedience to the voice of our conscious
– Confronting ourselves and others and stop being shy or worried of being judged
How much time and effort do we exert to be liked and how many masks are we wearing? We have one life to live, we ought to live it as our true selves for ourselves not for the sake of others.