“How are you so organised, were you born like that or is it a skill that you developed over time?,” my colleague’s question alarmed me, I didn’t know I was that distressed. “I wasn’t born organised, my parent used to punish me harshly till I became that organised,” I explained. Attending a meditation session yesterday, the coach was talking about the brain and how it remembers painful experiences much more than it remembers happy ones. As soon as I heard the term of ‘Painful experience’, my brain traveled thirty years ago, I saw my younger version in my parents’ living room looking for the dolls she was playing with the night before till she overslept. My mother had tried her best to bring me back my dolls; ones that I had been collecting over the years as my limit was one toy per year in order to value them and not to become a spoiled girl. Despite her many trials, she failed and I never got my dolls again. My father had turned me into an organised person without giving me any training in organisation, without any coaching or guidance. In my work I am labeled as ‘the most organised’ and my colleagues and friends praise me constantly for my organisation skills.
I never found peace with what my dad had done back then, yet I can’t deny that I still harvest the fruits of this painful experience as my organisation skills are one of the main factors behind my successes in both my personal and professional life.
Are you a source of pain for people in your circles? Would this pain fuel them to develop and improve or would it entrap them in feelings of shame and guilt? Do you agree with the people who claim that painful experiences are blessings in disguise? Are you in pain now? Is it possible for you to use this pain as the fuel for a blasting success that your future self will thank you for?