Did you ever take a picture of your inner soul or your mind? The thing I like in pictures isn’t only that they save our precious memories, they also help us see how we physically changed; our features, our shape, the way we dressed, the places we visited and the people we shared our lives with. However, pictures only record our memories from the outside, while this doesn’t work for the inside. One of the things I cherish in having a diary and a journal is that they help me remember how I looked from the inside, they enable me to review how I changed and in which ways, and what remained unchanged in my life. Today, reading an entry I had written six years ago, I felt happy. Back then, I had a problem with my vocal cords due to stress and high fatigue. My entry was: ‘I admit that me, myself, is the person in charge of all what had happened to me; the physical fatigue and high stress. Though I thought I was able to make choices and prioritise things, I discovered that I was too tough on myself; always expecting from it perfection, wanting it to be always on task, blaming it for any tiny little mistake and being cruel with it whenever it asks for a break or a rest. Now, I learned the lesson well; to be kind and gentle with it, never to push it to the edge, to let it meditate and to give it breaks more often in order that I become more effective.’
The sad news is, I knew the lesson, I suffered from being too hard on myself, however, I wasn’t able to put the lesson into practice at once. I stumbled again last year, five years from making this entry, and again it was due to stress and this time it aggressively affected my colon.
Today, traveling with this memory from my diary, I truly felt satisfied. It took me six long years, many books, workshops and sessions with my Counselor to reach my current state of truly knowing how to be gentle on myself, how to practice tough love with others, how to say NO without explaining myself, and how to attentively listen to my inner voice.
Do you remember how you looked from the inside years ago? A diary is a powerful device to capture your thoughts, struggles and dreams.