Did you ever encounter an event that turned your life upside down? Or a situation that made you pause and reevaluate again the way you looked to things? Many of us experienced this, whether through a serious illness that attacked them, a major accident they had or the painful death of a dear one.
Seeing my son about to terminate his final high school exams, I remembered such an incident that took place a couple of years ago and made me make a big paradigm shift as a mother.
We were about to travel on our summer vacation when my son informed me that we won’t join our family trip this time. He had agreed with his father that he would be joining a soccer team and will stay on his own, spending his summer with his friends. Hearing the news I was devastated. For fifteen years we have been together on summer time; swimming, cycling, reading, jogging, watching movies and playing games and all of a sudden my son decided to get detached and be on his own? I went mad, discussed it with my partner who persuaded me to accept it for my son’s sake who will sooner or later be on his own in this life.
I spent many days afterwards reflecting on my life; why getting children from the first place if they will leave one day? Why wasting time and effort raising them if they will leave the moment they can depend on themselves? Why being rewarded in such a cruel way. I was in a deep state of agony. On an afternoon, still thinking of the matter, I thought of my mother who was living on her own after she used to live with my dad and us, her four girls. I thought of how courageous she was acting, facing whatever changes life brought to her doorsteps and always offering us help despite her old age. I recalled the sentence she repeats the most when I offer her help: “Just take care of your children and your health.” Her words echoed in my mind and I had a paradigm shift. Only then I was able to see life from a different angle. I don’t own my children. They were born free. Raising them brought me happiness and this was my reward. My ultimate joy should be in seeing them happy, successful and fulfilled. Chaining them by my side means unloving them. My mother is right; I raise them hoping they would take care of themselves and become good parents who take good care of their little ones. The cycle should go this way not the other way round.
Did you ever had a paradigm shift? Did a certain event made you reconsider the way you looked to things?